Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

First….oh, and this is the best ever

True that.

since when do vampires glitter in the sun? die stephanie meyer, just die…

OMG! WTF? SOOOOO TRUE!

WIN.

OMG, this is pure gold. ^_^

Edward is so perfect he shits strawberries. <33

okay, this was pretty funny, though edward is hardly a douche. jacob is. and yeah, i like the book but meyer´s is such a sucky writer and the sparkle thing was just too much. you could have made him shine or have something weird, but sparkles? not necessary.

@Kelly
actually Edward is a douche bag… but then again I guess thats how women (as in the fan-tards for the books) see prospective husbands as controlling emo dicks who like to keep them from their friends/lives/family etc etc

@IB
oh yeah, it´s so horrible for him to keep her from someone who could kill her. how horrible of him!

I love this – Meyer raped the vampire lore! Stupid Mormon Mary-Sueing housewife. (Nothing against Mormons – I’m just waiting for Edward to marry 30 fangirly little emo girls. XD)

@Kelly
Personally I’d rather die than have a man control me. I’d rather be stabbed in the back by people that ‘loved’ me than have some anomoly of the vampire legend keep me under his glittery thumb. >:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is the BEST!! i shall spread the word!

@Dementia_Maid
you´d rather die than have the man you love protect you from very real danger? that´s screwed up.

this. is. golden.

oh no! i want the vampire who professes a deep desire to suck my floral blood to protect me from OH MY GOD A WEREWOLF

jacob is a bit of a douche but he has one of the most realistic not-mary-sue personalities and, by the way, probably wouldn’t kill bella. just maul her if he got pissed, right? while edward has a 90% probability of sucking bella’s blood everytime they make out. ZING!

oh yes, by the way, kelly, have you heard of ‘give me liberty or give me death’?

a life without freedom is no life at all-our founding fathers recognized it, and evidently Dementia and I do.

The fact that some on this thread are debating the douchbaggery of a goddamn sparkly fictional vampire makes me weep for the literary future. May Stephanie Meyer rot in hell with Dean Koontz. Bah!

I just saw the movie for the first time and yes, I liked it. But I have to say, you guys are hella funny! Guess cause I know it’s true. But still, I like it.

Wow…this one actually made me laugh out loud.

To all those debating about this book, please STFU…it’s a goddamn BOOK, for crying out loud. If you don’t like the joke, don’t look at it. It’s that simple. Thx

O. M. F. G.
This is so much Epic Win. The whole sparkly-vampire bit must have made Meyer the laughingstock of…. just about any sensible person, actually.

Who is Edward Cullen? (dark ages person here)

“I sat through Twilight and all I got was this tub of glitter.”

THIS is true love. XDDDD

This is epic.

On a later note, Meyer did have a detailed reason as to why vampires sparkle. She just neglected to TELL anyone why in a span of 4 books:

“Humans sun burn due to the scorching of living cells in our system. Vampires do not have this, so there should be no reaction to the sun because of the lack of living cells to communicate the reaction to the rest of the body. The lack of cells also means the lack of pores, rendering the vampire with a perfectly smooth and hard skin. Similar to marble. Marble, of all kinds, sparkles. Thus the light is refracting off the stone hard skin, as it is “perfect” and has no pores or cells to absorb the light.”

I think that the entire idea that Meyerpires have no pores makes no sense, but it lends to her hard and cold as rock points that she makes clear throughout.

Most beautiful thing ever. Of course, the sad part is that someone actually wrote the name Edward Cullen in a bathroom /without/ some snippy comment- only a heart-shaped representation of creepy fan-girl obsession. I hate twilight. It romanticizes a blatantly abusive relationship. It’s horrible. Vomit worthy. Harry Potter was better.

Good heck, I almost fell out of my chair laughing about this! EPIC!!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Dear Urinal
what is the difference between fags and mexicans with swine flu?

@Kelly; “RE: you´d rather die than have the man you love protect you from very real danger? that´s screwed up.”

I’m just going to point out right now that the only danger around was the danger he put her in; and, in the real world, we don’t need a man to protect us from vampires. Unless of course, we live in Scotland. Then we should be worried about the werewolf population.

…that TOTALLY just made my day.

@Die Bella Die
Oh, well hell. That explains everything then. I mean, how scientific. (Sarcasm not directed at you, btw).

I like vampire books, and read Twilight when it first came out. Now I can hardly look at Twilight without wanting to puke. Vampires suck, and that’s only a bad thing when they become as much of a goddamn obsession as Twilight has.

His balls sparkle, too.

@Kitty

Bwa ha ha!!!!!!

@Kelly
How is Jacob any less dangerous then Edward? At least Jacob doesn’t want to EAT Bella.

omfg datz so mean!!!1111 edwrd isnt a doucebag he jst sprakles in the sun

@twilight
Go kill yourself. Seriously.

@ArfArf
LMAO
this was the only comment that really made me laugh at loud.

The rest was, however, very enjoyable.

ArfArf :
The fact that some on this thread are debating the douchbaggery of a goddamn sparkly fictional vampire makes me weep for the literary future. May Stephanie Meyer rot in hell with Dean Koontz. Bah!

u are correct

/bow

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLS~ glittery emo fag vampire

I laughed so hard I fell off my chair and hit my head and was still laughing. Now I’m crying about the poor, wasted female mind that has been sucked into the horrid, sparkly, incredibly stupid world that Meyer chose to inflict on the rest of the universe. I mean, come on, caption win, but why was that there in the first place? To show some random person’s love of a ficitonal, abusive, sparkly, pitiful excuse for a vampire.

Win. Total fucking epic win =D

@twilight
STFU. Talk any more and your poor English teacher is going to have an epilepsy from your grammar fail.

@Palmy I do believe you mean a seizure. Epilepsy is a condition aquired from birth.

The best thing about the waste of 20 dollars(took my wife) and 2 hours of my life that is Twilight was the Heineken Keg Can I snuck into the movie theater with and singing the Super Mario Theme when that douche Edward ran up the mountain. Kelly screams battered wife in the future, thanks for keeping that stat alive.

take that Stephanie-fucking-idiot-Meyer
Worst. Book. Ever

Ha ha!
fucking disco ball!

The Truth :The best thing about the waste of 20 dollars(took my wife) and 2 hours of my life that is Twilight was the Heineken Keg Can I snuck into the movie theater with and singing the Super Mario Theme when that douche Edward ran up the mountain. Kelly screams battered wife in the future, thanks for keeping that stat alive.

Dammit, I wish I was there. I would have joined in.

Yeah, Twilight is a HORRIBLE excuse for a vampire book. And @ Kelly? I hope you realize vampires are about 50 times more dangerous then werewolves, because they’re predators ALL THE TIME, instead of only on a full moon.

Super Mario for the win

@Dementia_Maid
Oh my god, “glittery thumb”! Marry me, please!