Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

dear urinal: show me man’s greatest invention

Dear urinal: I woke up this morning, took my morning leak, and noticed that I had no balls! Do you have any idea where they might be?

Dear urinal: what sound does my dick make when it steals Captain America’s helmet?

Dear Urinal: Where do they get the cream filling for Twinkies?

Dear urinal: What is Adam Lambert’s greatest wish?

Dear Urinal: My wife and I have been trying for years, but we just can’t have kids. Do you know why?

Dear Urinal: if my balls could play mario 64 would they be better at it then me??

Dear Urinal: If you could get any superpower, what would it be?

Dear urinal: What did the flying toaster with testicules say to the 8-foot jar of marmalade with ears?

Dear Urinal: My wife got my testicles in the divorce settlement, how should I send them too her but still feel like a man?

Dear urinal…what will really happen if I masturbate too much? I mean, REALLY happen?

Dear Urinal: If balls could fly, what would they say?

Dear Urinal: I heard some guy made a million dollars off those pickup-hitch Truck Nutz. I’m thinking of making a similar product called Toasticles. Could you help me with the prototype sketch?

Dear Urinal: I was thinking of launching a line of headgear for penises but I have run out of ideas, can you think of something that’ll really sell?

Dear Urinal: which branch of the military is the most conceded?

Dear Urinal: What does the real Santa Clause look like?

Dear Urinal: I met this nice bird at the pub the other night and we hit it off great. We’ve started dating. What’s next?

Dear Urinal: My girlfriend told me I have a weird-looking helmet. What does a normal one look like?

I heard that balls are being recruted to enter the army, but I’ve never seen one, can you show me how Army Balls look like?

Blast :I heard that balls are being recruted to enter the army, but I’ve never seen one, can you show me how Army Balls look like?

Ops, a little error there, REWRITING IT:
Dear Urinal: I heard that balls are being recruted to enter the army, but I’ve never seen one, can you show me how Army Balls look like?

The Flash’s sidekick finally hits puberty.

just got a second idea:

Dear Urinal: What would happen if I jack off using redbull instead of lotion?

Dear Urinal: I’ve heard many times of the purple helmet soldiers, but never seen one before. Can they fly?

Dear Urinal: When I fly combat missions over Afghanistan I always feel so vulnerable. Why is that?

Dear Urinal: I think people’s minds spend too much time in the gutter. What do you think?

I saw the most masculine bird ever, but forgot what it looked like. can you help me?

Dear Urinal… In the future we will have female robots, but what will Male robots look like?

Dear Urinal: Can pigs fly?

Dear Urinal: Major Ballsy or not: Telling my girlfriend the clothes she was wearing made her look fat…

Dear Urinal: What would happen if Mario put the flying cap over his balls?