Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

Dear Urinal, I really like this girl but I don’t know if I want to ask her out. What do you think?

Dear Urinal,I heard you’ve had a visit from Miley Cyrus.What can you tell us about this experience?

Dear Urinal, I’m currently dating this awesome girl I met in my morning class, when and how should I take it further? Any advice on the birds and the bees? It’s my first time.

Dear Urinal, I’m in love! any advice?

Dear Urinal,
I’d like to get a dog, preferably from the humane society… What are your thoughts on getting an older dog instead of a young puppy?

Dear Urinal, I think I’ve met the girl of my dreams, but she’s into scat-play, what do you think?

Dear Urinal, so as you may know, Megan Fox is REALLY hot!!! But besides her inability to act, is there any other reason why I shouldn’t begin stalking her?

Dear Urinal, I just met a great girl, but she says no guy ever wants to keep going out with her more than a few months. Why is that?

Dear Urinal, I’ve been dating this really cute girl for a few weeks now and things are great. The only thing is she never seems to need to use the bathroom. I am worried that she may have a GI problem. What do you think?

dear urinal, i recently found a stray puppy, she is pretty small, and really cute, i don’t think back yard clean up will be too bad because she is such a small dog, is it worth it to keep her?

Dear Urinal,

My parents are getting divorced. Could this possibly be my fault?

Dear Urinal, My best friend wants to fuck my ex-wife. What should I tell him?

Dear Urinal, I have a blind date with a girl who tells me she was in something called “Two Girls One Cup.” Should I be concerned?

Dear Urinal…What do you think of Megan Fox?

Dear Urinal: My sister and her husband just had a little baby girl! Isn’t that adorable?

Dear Urinal, I found poop on the floor and I think it might be my girlfriend’s. How do I bring up the subject when talking to her?

Dear Urinal,
When are people going to address the feelings of sewage workers?

Dear Urinal: I’ve heard rumors about Brad and Angelina splitting. Are they true?

Dear urinal: I just met Taylor swift in a bar, do you have any advise?

Dear Urinal,
What infomercial product may be out there to wash off those unsightly poop stains I got from standing to close to the railing at the zoo?

Dear Urinal,
Is there any person in the world who can resist adorable little Abigail Breslin’s charm?

Dear Urinal: I am still up in the air about Sarah Palin. What do you think?

Dear Urinal: I have met a beautiful woman who asked me to clean out her septic tank. What should I tell her?

Dear Urinal,

What did Bill Clinton say after the world found out about the Monica Lewinsky scandal?

Dear Urinal,
I’ve done some things in my life I shouldn’t have done. Recently, I’ve moved out of the country and started a new life. Am I going to be able to run away from my past?

Dear Urinal,
Do you have any sort of ironic relationship advice to offer a man sitting on the crapper?

Dear Urinal,

I’m a new production assistant at E!, and I want to make a good first impression. I’ve been tasked with writing a subtitle for Dakota Fanning’s “True Hollywood Story.” Any suggestions?

Dear Urinal, what would words would you best use to describe Cate Blanchett?

@Brendanvio

Edit: Dear Urinal, what words would you best use to describe Cate Blanchett?

Dear Urinal, I miserable without my ex, jus cant get over her.. any advice..

Dear Urinal, What we your reaction the first time you saw Two Girls One Cup?

@Ezrekia

Edit (for blondeness): Dear Urinal, What was your reaction the first time you saw Two Girls One Cup?

Dear Urinal, what do you think of two girls one cup?

Dear Urinal:

What do you think of Gwyneth Paltrow’s informative and helpful website, GOOP?