Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

dear urinal: i am really attracted to steven hawking, what chat-up line would you suggest?

Dear Urinal, I am tired of the joke about the square root of 69 being “8 something.” How can I ruin it for everyone?

Dear urinal: I know the universal language is math. But what is the universal language of love?

Dear Urinal, how can a math nerd simultaneously display his intelligence and sexual acumen in a manner which will surely impress the ladies?

Dearl Urinal: do you happen to know any mathematical sexy haiku?

Dear Urinal…
I’m really bad at math. Is there a failsafe answer that is always, always correct?

Dear Urinal,

What is the answer to my troubled relationship with my girlfriend?

Dear Urinal,
Is there a mathematical equation for an orgasm?

Dear Urinal,
What is Sex for Nerds gonna be like?

Dear Urinal: What’s dirtier than making my calculator display “BOOBIES”?

Dear Nerds,
I want to try a 69, but can’t find anyone to do it with can you suggest an alternative position for me to try on my own?

Dear Urinal,
How can I utilize my advanced math degree to emulate a total frat-douche?

Dear Urinal,
I like this girl in my advance trigonometry class, but I’m having trouble approaching her. Can you suggest any witty pickup lines?

Dear Urinal, What is a good way to get on my math teacher’s good side

Dear Urinal: What’s exactly the “Big Bang Theory”?

Dear Urinal: I have a problem. My algebra teacher is HOT. What should I do?

Dear Urinal,
What is a bad pick-up line yo use on blondes?

CheesyMuffins :Dear Urinal,What is a bad pick-up line yo use on blondes?

What’s a bad pickup line to use on blondes?

Dear urinal: What does math do for fun on the weekends?

Dear Urinal, I’m attending a science conference and am looking to have some fun while i’m there. What’s a really smart pick up line I can use on the ladies?

Dear Urinal, I just got a new calculator and have already exhausted all my clever number puns. I have pre algebra next period and I was wondering if you had any good ones I could use.

Dear Urinal:

How do I insinuate to my Math Major girlfriend that I want to go further with our relationship?

Dear Urinal: What did you learn in school today?

Dear Urinal:

I’m flunking math. Is there some way I can convince the teacher to pass me on the final?

Dear Urinal, my super smart asian boyfriend and I got stuck while we were going down on each other. How could the nurses figure out how to free us?

Dear Urinal,
The girl in my math class keeps saying I’m a square. Is there a witty comeback I can use?

Dear Urinal:
Do you know any dirty talk to arouse my motherboard?

Dear Urinal, My girlfriend is a mathematical whiz and I’m struggling to get anywhere with her. How should I proposition to have oral sex with her?

Dear Urinal: How can i tell if Randall Munroe of xkcd has been drawing in bathroom stalls?

Dear Urinal,

What do you get when you cross a teenage Will Hunting with a marker and blank canvas?

Dear Urinal: Megan Fox and Olivia Wilde are set to appear on the next season of Numb3rs.. Any ideas for a plot line?

Dear urinal: Is it true that the square root of 69 is eight-something?

Dear Urinal; I keep getting huge erections in the middle of class! what can I do to get rid of them?

Dear Urinal: Is The Knowing a good film for a horny mathmatician?

Dear Urinal: 69 is my favourite position, but I’m getting bored of it. Could you tell me it’s roots?

Dear Urinal, I need a good chat up line for a scientist in a hurry! Can you help?