Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

Dear Urinal, I’m developing a new toy called the Talking, Walking Animatronic Toy, but other people keep peeking at my plans. What should I say to stop them stealing my idea?

Dear Urinal: I’m horribly depressed. How can I show people that even a horned cyclops is capable of love?

Dear Urinal, up here on the farm, the guy who sheers us is a real perv. How should I tell him to take a hike?

Dear Urinal, what ever happened to Agent Pleakley from the Disney film Lilo and Stitch?

Dear urinal, my girlfriend has been giving me weird looks lately. Do you have any ideas of what she’s thinking?

Dear Urinal, something smells a little off in here. Mind if I check under he….

(@Ezrekia FTW!)

@Nilla
That’s way better than anything I would have come up with today. I fold this hand.

Dear Urinal,
As an aspiring female porn star can you please tell me what not to say at my “interview”?

Dear Urinal: My husband is a gynecologist, and our sex life is very boring… what should i tell him while in bed?

Dear Urinal,
I found a camera in the toilet. What should I say to the person who put it there?

Dear Urinal, if the drawings of my 4 year old child came to life, what would the Cyclops say?

Mr. Fuzzles, where did you hide my keys?

Dear Urinal, What act by a female would cause more traffic accidents on the Freeway?

Dear Urinal, what did Bill Murray say to that girl at the end of Lost in Translation?

Dear Urinal, what is a surefire way to get my boyfriend to break up with me?

Dear Urinal,

I’m so sick! The vomit won’t stop…It just WON’T STOP!!

What can I do?