Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

Dear urinal, I’m afraid of filthy toilets, what do you do?

Dear Urinal, I lose so much time on askaurinal.com while at work that I forget to go to the bathroom. Any advice?

Dear Urinal : What is the name of Babe Ruth’s biography ?

Dear Urinal, You’re looking a bit podgy these days and I’d like to help you lose some weight. What can I do?

Dear urinal, what did Yoda say in Starwars but was cut when editing?

Dear Urinal, what are you collecting in that big smelly garbage can over there?

Suggestion:
Dear Urinal, I’m sorry I had diarrhea last night.

Dear Urinal, I recently had a miscarriage and am looking for a hobby to fill the empty void in my uterus. What would be a good item to start collecting?

Dear Urinal, I’m thinking about opening a store that specializes in lingerie for the very young and the very old. What should I call it?

Dear Urinal, I’ve recently been hired to cater a reception for the gals from 2girls1cup. How should I serve the entree?

Dear Urinal: My biological clock is ticking. Why should I pick you to father my child?

Dear Urinal: What were Yoda’s first words?

Dear Urinal, Can you describe adult baby fetishism in three words or less?

Dear Urinal: What is the best way to keep up-to-date on the health care debate?

Dear Urinal: If you were Yoda, what would your favorite fetish be?

Dear Urinal,
I recently completed an article for a parenting magazine about potty training, but I can’t think of a decent title. Any suggestions?

Dear Urinal: It seems to me as though Yoda is really getting on in years–what do you think he’d have to say about that?

@Kara
Damnit, that’s what I get for not reading all the comments.

Bah! I meant Alex! That’s what I get for drinking whiskey before 9am.

Dear Urinal: My Yoda-looking kid has started speaking. What does he say?

Dear Urinal: Are you potty-trained?

Dear Urinal,
What is your favorite part of taking care of your little baby Urinals?

Dear Urinal, New fetish I want. Ideas any?

Dear Urinal, Is it true that you were arrested for child pornography?

Dear Urinal, I’m looking for a new babysitter. What qualification should stand out on a resume?

Dear Urinal, My astronaut lover is seeing someone else. I need to drive across the country to murder my rival. How can I make the trip as fast as possible?

Dear Urinal, with all your sage wisdom that has helped me so much, what can I do to ease your burden?