Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

Done. Come back, Urinal.

We promise not to pee on the toilet seat. Well, for a little while.

Dear Urinal, I can’t decide. Fuck him? Or library? Fuck him? Or library? Please advise.

Dear Urinal, Did you fall in?

Dear Urinal,
Please post the appropriate details so someone else can take over. I suggest quickly, before this site ends up on FAILBlog.

You know, we’re all going to feel like petty, demanding assholes if it turns out Urinal is in the hospital with car crash injuries or swine flu or something.

They allow laptops in hospitals. Maybe this is a ploy for attention… although it seems backwards. He could have been kidnapped.

Maybe Urinal was the dirty one Mike Rowe hauled out of that building on Dirty Jobs.

Whatever happened….we should still get an explanation!

He could be smashed to smithereens, and recycled into various pieces of ceramic, plastic, rubber, and metal.

Dear Urinal, I miss you terribly and I hope you are okay.

Well, someone’s watching. A new comment appeared between Jimmy and Crystal B. above. That means it was posted four days ago but just recently approved.

Or is it an automatic approval based on time? Or the world’s second slowest internet connection speed?

What if he just doesn’t have another photo? after the Big B?

@CheesyMuffins
Then he’d post the Big B photo with no “next” candidate.

Dear urinal,
Why is education important?

Dear Urinal, what advice can I give my slutty sister to get her to study more?

what is the 7 B’s of birthcontrol?

Dear Urinal, we noticed you’d been gone for a while. Did somebody give you some advice that encouraged you to flee from socialising and return to your studies for a few weeks?

Dear Urinal. What’s my Physics Class’ Hottest Nerd’s reason not to go around with the guys?

Maybe Urinal is constipated and can’t visit himself?

@CheesyMuffins
I never thought I’d outlive bathrom graffiti. Surely these are the worst of times.

Dear Urinal on the wall
Where are all your bathroom scrawls?
I’m worried you might cause depression
If I can’t ask you one more question.

It truly is a sad day when man outlives his own grafitti.

THAT VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE!!!@paranoid

@JimtheJack
soooo lame….

There once was a urinal wise
Who gave lots of helpful advise
But his absence did foil it
Guess I’ll just ask a toilet
And seek the response ‘twixt my thighs.

Dear Urinal, I’m writing a teen book of ABC’s. What should i put for the letter B?

@other matt
agreed… that was pretty horrible
let me try:
dear urinal in this stall
i miss the way you make me lol
without your love i sink into depression
so please come back and teach me a lesson

…hm nope, still sucks

Mary had a Urinal
Its porcelain white as snow
And everywhere her potty went
People were sure to… go.

Dear Urinal, I missed the last episode of Sesame Street, can you tell me what the letter of the day was?

Dear urinal,
Why the hell do you suck so bad
You ruined all the good times we had
I guess i’ll end up just watching youtubes
I hope your rim is covered in pubes

@Sheri
i like this one

Dear urinal,
Assuming your parents don’t work at McDonalds, and aren’t pedophiles; What advice have your parents given you to get so far in life?

wow, it’s almost been a month? I hope you’re alright and the site will continue eventually ._.

Dear Urinal, why should I get a sex change?

Dear Urinal, teach me how 2 B myself!

DEAR URINAL: Where did you go? You’ve been missing for a month. We’ve sent out APBs and Amberr Alerts. We’ve posted pictures of you next to lost kitties on telephone polls. We’ve cried ourselves to sleep at night. Please come back.

@Jimmy
Who poops in a urinal? Don’t answer that.

maybe it’s a social experiment….

Dear Urinal: what’s the best way to be abstinent as a 15 yo girl?

Four more days and it’ll be a month without updates. At that point I’ll delete the bookmark and consider this site abandoned.

Another thing – the domain registration expires one month from today. Maybe Urinal has just lost interest and is not going to renew it.

well this is just unacceptable
hrmph hrmph hrmph

Dear Urinal, Can you please tell us which letter is sponsoring today on Sesame Street?

@Twolly
Stan Marsh.

Dear Urinal: I’ve been audited faster than you’re taking to update!

dwasifar :Four more days and it’ll be a month without updates. At that point I’ll delete the bookmark and consider this site abandoned.

agreed

The urinal is dead..

Dear urinal, please come back – we promise not to spit our gum out on your pine-scented cakes any more.