Ask A Urinal – Wisdom From Bathroom Graffitti

Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?

The Greeks and Romans had a crapload of gods, but none for the almighty toilet. Do you know of any such gods?

How often does someone come in and clean all the graffiti off your walls?

I keep dreaming of Jeff Goldblum. Why?

What’s the worst thing you’ve seen today?

Why is that gangtas will always suck compared to us?

I want to tell this guy I want him without seeming slutty, any advice?

How do I make my ex love me again?

Dear Urinal,
What the fuck is wrong with the world?
Sincerely, Sewer Rat.

What will actually happen in 2012?

I’m a gay guy and I keep falling in love with straight guys. Whry?

My crush told me who he likes, it wasn’t me. How do I get over him?

I have a shitty job, and I still have 3 weeks of this…how will I survive?

Dear Urinal:
Which language should I be learning: Chinese or Japanese???

I always feel like im being followed, but never see anyone. why?

What makes you so different from a Magic 8 Ball?

@Alison
you say to him, ‘i want you, but i am not a slut.’

What/Who are your parents?

Marvel, DC, or Darkhorse?

Can some one pee while pooping?

Give me a good reason to live.

Dear urinal,
why do i continue to work at my job if my boss is a raging bitch my company doesn’t care about the customer. nothing i seem to do is enough for these bastards.why do i continue to work here?

Dear Urinal: Got any Change?

if you got propositioned by Hugh Jackman, would you say no?

Why do carnival workers smell like old cheese?

Dear Urinal: Whar r utopia?

Dear Urinal: how do i get my housemates dog to stink less?

Dear Urinal: What’s the point?

Dear Urinal: how do you find love after a painful breakup?

Dear Urinal: I’m starting to crush on one of my best friends and I’m almost completely sure that he doesn’t like me back. Any Advice?

I want to change my name, what should I change it to?

dear urinal: im 14 an have cheated on my girlfriend 8 times with 13 girls, how?

@Raymond present

What does purple taste like?

Dear Urinal: How do you tame a schizophrenic?

Dear Urinal: What are you supposed to do after you kiss a boy?

Dear Urinal: The machine only blows hot air, it does not serve me bacon. Is it broken or am I pushing the button wrong?

@Annie
Excuse him to go change his underpants.

dear urinal: i’m currently stuck here doing a very last minute piece of uni coursework the night before it needs to be handed in, any advice on late excuses?

Why do i gat raped by farm animals in my sleep?

@Raymond
yes. everyone can.

Dear Urinal,

why didn’t the pedobear take me too?

Every time I pee I think of crackers. Has this ever happened to you?

what can I do to stop the aliens from reading my mind?

why don’t you you update this blog more frequently?

I’m addicted to caffiene. How can I wean myself off it?

Dear Urinal…i think im gay, what should i do?

I’m always telling little kids the wrong thing, leading to unfortunate pet related accidents, what can i do?

(In response to Fridays caption)

Dear Urinal … Could it be possible that life is less than priceless ?

Dear Urinal… what the hell is going on on ‘Lost’?!